March 18, 2015
Long hair problems
- When your trying to take a selfie for Instagram but your long luscious locks don’t all fit in the square frame. Why am I even bothering?
- Haircuts! Asking for ‘just an eyelash off’ (A BOTTOM eyelash in my case) and leaving with a blunt Bob.
- That feeling of pure terror when you feel a sudden tickle on your leg or back thinking its a Tarantula or a Snake, when in fact you have just shed one very long hair. Meaning I'm scared of my own hair.
- Bedtime, do I sleep with it loose and risk chocking to death in my sleep or should I tie it up and tackle the massive knotted hairball in the morning? Hmmm tricky one…
- My hair and lip-gloss, it’s a sticky love affair…
- Leaving the house and realising you haven't brought a hair elastic, you just know your in for a stressful day, I may as well have forgotten my laptop for work, or my house keys. I’m that screwed.
- The gross feeling of finding a hair in your food 99% of the time, I mean its most likely mine, but what if it isn’t?
- When you're at the gym and put your hair into a pony tail but its still long enough to stick to your armpits when you run, meaning you need to opt for the high bun that wobbles with every movement and also makes you look like a contestant on The Great British bake off…
- When your hair SERIOUSLY needs a trim but you can’t go through with it because you will lose your identity as the long haired girl. (see problem 2)
- Zippers - Need I say more?
- When a guy is running his hands through your hair and your playing the Jaws soundtrack in your head for when he reaches a tangle…
- When you buy a necklace and feel sorry for it because you know it’s going to be the fly in a web soon.
- The guilt you feel when ever you tie your hair up, ‘like, what is even the point in having long hair if its up, should I cut it? Nah I’ll just wear it down.’
- Feeling like a top plumber after pulling out that blonde wig from the shower drain. I’m so Independent.
- Finding hair everywhere, my whole flat is basically just a hair storage room.
- Does brushing my hair count as cardio? Because I'm too exhausted to do anything for the rest of the day.
- Trying to convince yourself that its OKAY to wear an elastic round your wrist, I mean if its black its timeless right?
- Hair trapped in your scarf all winter. You've got a bob whether you wanted it or not.
- Drying your hair, hay bails float by, season’s change and my hair still isn't dry. It’s a saga.
- Always running out of conditioner before shampoo. Whoever made the shampoo bottle bigger than the conditioner has been ruining my life for years.
So why do we go through it? Ohhhh because its so worth it, I am long and luscious, I am sleek, I am Rapunzel, The Princess of hair, and I'm never cutting this off.
The Mermaid of Hairburst